Thursday, June 26, 2008

How to Get a Man to Marry You

Love yourself. If you're not happy with who you are then don't expect others will be. Analyze yourself and change what you don't like. Positive self-esteem is key.
Know your role. An important part of any relationship is making both partners aware that they have a crucial and indispensable role to play.

Be emotionally grounded. Life with you should not be a roller coaster ride. Men generally like women who are stable, and vice versa. Sometimes this is a difficult task in our hectic lives, but it is not impossible. If you find yourself referred to as a "drama queen" in more than one instance, seek help and guidance in relaxing your nerves and calming your emotions.

Men are often slower to commit because they are very careful about getting to know a woman before they commit to her. They date first before becoming a boyfriend, they stay a boyfriend first before getting engaged. This is often hard for women, but there is a lesson to be learned from it. They make sure (as women should) that they feel compatible on all levels. This process must happen at its own pace. Pressuring a man to make a decision before he feels he knows you will inevitably lead him to doubt. Don't talk about marriage until either he brings it up or it's been about a year.

Keep dating fun, as it should be. If dating goes well, and your interactions are positive, he'll want you to be his girlfriend. If he builds experience with you and sees you as a person he wants to be with forever, he will get more serious about his future and work, start considering longer-term goals such as buying a home, and begin to discuss the future more and more. Only once he has made a decision about you and feels prepared and mature enough to propose will he do so.
Show confidence. Be sure of yourself, and ready to tackle whatever is before you. Many men love confident women. How can a man not feel privileged when he earns the esteem of a woman who values herself so highly?
Show endearment with class. A certain look. A scratch on the back. A soft kiss. Nothing "clingy" or inappropriate.

Appreciate a man's strengths. And tell him so, even if he's already prideful. Then support him when he is at his best, and avoid nagging or berating him when he is at his worst.

Be fun. This sounds basic, but it's a critical factor in any relationship. Have a sense of humor. Don’t be uptight or negative.
Overflow with joy. Women who are glad to be alive and are enjoying every minute of it may be irrepressibly attractive to men.

Glow. If the warmth of your heart is written all over your face, and your feelings for your guy show in the sparkle in your eyes, you will melt him. This is what removes all doubt - it's the important "silver bullet".

Practice humility. A humble person is not someone who downplays herself; it is a person who controls her ego and shows a genuine interest in others.
Date. It may not be obvious, but you actually have to go out on dates with a man and commit to a relationship before he will propose. The term "date" in modern culture is vague and sometimes redefined as something more than it is. Simply converse with a man and get to know more about each others' lives.

Don't assume. Some men wait slightly longer than you might want before they ask. If he is really worth marrying, you should be willing to wait (within reason). But if he is uninterested (or worse, making excuses) even after a long period of time, you need to reevaluate the direction of your relationship. Remember, great romances are not built on bargaining and ultimatums - in the best marriages the man is the one initiating conversations about marriage. Sometimes allowing a man to lead the direction of a relationship is in-line with your desires. Try it, you'll like it.
Remember that romance runs both ways. If you want to be respected and treated as an equal, do the same for him. Be romantic. Make him want to be in this relationship. Don't be a cheapskate. Men often enjoy romance too; pretending otherwise will only drive him away.

Remember that some men are perfectly willing to date women they really like but don't see as "marriage material." If, after six months to a year, you still haven't heard him refer to his future plans for marriage or family (with or without you) you may need to ask, "What qualities do you look for in someone you see yourself committing to?" If he mentions qualities he's complimented you on, take it as a good sign. If his compliments are largely related to sex, it probably is not.

If you feel the need to have a serious talk, reconsider the approach. Instead of coming at him with a serious tone (which will bring up his innate fear of pressure for commitment), be upbeat and positive. "I really love spending time with you. I really feel happy around you. But I just want to double check and see if we're on the same page. While I know it is too soon for us to worry about it, I do want to get married in the future and want to make sure I'm dating someone who has the same values as me. As we get to know each other better and better, are you beginning to see me as someone you could possibly see that happening with?"
Convey unconditional love. A strong relationship should be based upon more than convenience. Pushing past difficult times while remaining together requires a deep commitment and appreciation for one another. Unconditional love is developed over time. It is a choice we make, not necessarily a feeling we experience.

Set goals. Marriage itself only works when you're moving forward, so it's good practice to start now. Generally speaking, men like women who know who they are and where they're going, even if some of the goals need to be changed a bit down the road.

"Winning the Man NOT the Arguement". In any relationship, disagreements will occur. However the key to resolving issues is not only to talk these through. You need to be able to discuss all issues effectively. Never bring up previously unresolved issues - they are in the past and that is where they should be left. Never discuss issues with your partner if you haven't resolved this emotionally with your self first. If thinking about an issue makes you feel upset or angry, then do not bring this up with your partner. If you do, there is a chance that the your emotions will get the better of you, you will not be thinking or communicating clearly if this happens. Which can lead to an arguement. Discuss things objectively and think with an open mind. If you want him to understand you, you must be willing to understand and listen to him to.

1 comment:

Sidey said...

Hehe!! Haadha varugadha Liyumekey!! Are U aproaching me having read all these tha?? keke :D