I told you I didn't love you with a smile on my face
The smile quickly faded when I saw your heart break.
From internal bleeding, your eyes turned red
As red as the handprint you wanted to leave on my cheek
The cheek you use to kiss when you tucked me in' I remember your smile then.
I was ungrateful for anything you did for me
The sacrifices
I took your love for granted
Wiped it off like lint on my shirt
Now you're hurt
I take it back
All that I've said
I don't mean none of it
I love you Dad
More than words can say
Thank you for everything
Everything
n i will alwys lovee u
Friday, November 28, 2008
This dedicated to my mom
I wish I had my Mom by my side
Just thinking of her makes me cry
Never being able to get to know her
Hurts me inside everyday that goes by
The stories I hear
To my eyes they bring a tear
Before I had to say good-bye
I wish with her I had more time
My Dad lets me know how much she cared
Since I was too young to have my own memories to share
Seeing pictures of her I want to know
Why so soon she had to go
Good things that she did to help someone else
Hearing about that just makes my heart melt
I just hoped that the time with her could have been longer
Because I know she was a loving Wife and Mother
I am sad that we are apart
I miss my Mom with all my heart
Mom I need u and I miss u so very much, please come back to me...I need you bad!!!!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
How to Get a Man to Marry You
Love yourself. If you're not happy with who you are then don't expect others will be. Analyze yourself and change what you don't like. Positive self-esteem is key.
Know your role. An important part of any relationship is making both partners aware that they have a crucial and indispensable role to play.
Be emotionally grounded. Life with you should not be a roller coaster ride. Men generally like women who are stable, and vice versa. Sometimes this is a difficult task in our hectic lives, but it is not impossible. If you find yourself referred to as a "drama queen" in more than one instance, seek help and guidance in relaxing your nerves and calming your emotions.
Men are often slower to commit because they are very careful about getting to know a woman before they commit to her. They date first before becoming a boyfriend, they stay a boyfriend first before getting engaged. This is often hard for women, but there is a lesson to be learned from it. They make sure (as women should) that they feel compatible on all levels. This process must happen at its own pace. Pressuring a man to make a decision before he feels he knows you will inevitably lead him to doubt. Don't talk about marriage until either he brings it up or it's been about a year.
Keep dating fun, as it should be. If dating goes well, and your interactions are positive, he'll want you to be his girlfriend. If he builds experience with you and sees you as a person he wants to be with forever, he will get more serious about his future and work, start considering longer-term goals such as buying a home, and begin to discuss the future more and more. Only once he has made a decision about you and feels prepared and mature enough to propose will he do so.
Show confidence. Be sure of yourself, and ready to tackle whatever is before you. Many men love confident women. How can a man not feel privileged when he earns the esteem of a woman who values herself so highly?
Show endearment with class. A certain look. A scratch on the back. A soft kiss. Nothing "clingy" or inappropriate.
Appreciate a man's strengths. And tell him so, even if he's already prideful. Then support him when he is at his best, and avoid nagging or berating him when he is at his worst.
Be fun. This sounds basic, but it's a critical factor in any relationship. Have a sense of humor. Don’t be uptight or negative.
Overflow with joy. Women who are glad to be alive and are enjoying every minute of it may be irrepressibly attractive to men.
Glow. If the warmth of your heart is written all over your face, and your feelings for your guy show in the sparkle in your eyes, you will melt him. This is what removes all doubt - it's the important "silver bullet".
Practice humility. A humble person is not someone who downplays herself; it is a person who controls her ego and shows a genuine interest in others.
Date. It may not be obvious, but you actually have to go out on dates with a man and commit to a relationship before he will propose. The term "date" in modern culture is vague and sometimes redefined as something more than it is. Simply converse with a man and get to know more about each others' lives.
Don't assume. Some men wait slightly longer than you might want before they ask. If he is really worth marrying, you should be willing to wait (within reason). But if he is uninterested (or worse, making excuses) even after a long period of time, you need to reevaluate the direction of your relationship. Remember, great romances are not built on bargaining and ultimatums - in the best marriages the man is the one initiating conversations about marriage. Sometimes allowing a man to lead the direction of a relationship is in-line with your desires. Try it, you'll like it.
Remember that romance runs both ways. If you want to be respected and treated as an equal, do the same for him. Be romantic. Make him want to be in this relationship. Don't be a cheapskate. Men often enjoy romance too; pretending otherwise will only drive him away.
Remember that some men are perfectly willing to date women they really like but don't see as "marriage material." If, after six months to a year, you still haven't heard him refer to his future plans for marriage or family (with or without you) you may need to ask, "What qualities do you look for in someone you see yourself committing to?" If he mentions qualities he's complimented you on, take it as a good sign. If his compliments are largely related to sex, it probably is not.
If you feel the need to have a serious talk, reconsider the approach. Instead of coming at him with a serious tone (which will bring up his innate fear of pressure for commitment), be upbeat and positive. "I really love spending time with you. I really feel happy around you. But I just want to double check and see if we're on the same page. While I know it is too soon for us to worry about it, I do want to get married in the future and want to make sure I'm dating someone who has the same values as me. As we get to know each other better and better, are you beginning to see me as someone you could possibly see that happening with?"
Convey unconditional love. A strong relationship should be based upon more than convenience. Pushing past difficult times while remaining together requires a deep commitment and appreciation for one another. Unconditional love is developed over time. It is a choice we make, not necessarily a feeling we experience.
Set goals. Marriage itself only works when you're moving forward, so it's good practice to start now. Generally speaking, men like women who know who they are and where they're going, even if some of the goals need to be changed a bit down the road.
"Winning the Man NOT the Arguement". In any relationship, disagreements will occur. However the key to resolving issues is not only to talk these through. You need to be able to discuss all issues effectively. Never bring up previously unresolved issues - they are in the past and that is where they should be left. Never discuss issues with your partner if you haven't resolved this emotionally with your self first. If thinking about an issue makes you feel upset or angry, then do not bring this up with your partner. If you do, there is a chance that the your emotions will get the better of you, you will not be thinking or communicating clearly if this happens. Which can lead to an arguement. Discuss things objectively and think with an open mind. If you want him to understand you, you must be willing to understand and listen to him to.
Know your role. An important part of any relationship is making both partners aware that they have a crucial and indispensable role to play.
Be emotionally grounded. Life with you should not be a roller coaster ride. Men generally like women who are stable, and vice versa. Sometimes this is a difficult task in our hectic lives, but it is not impossible. If you find yourself referred to as a "drama queen" in more than one instance, seek help and guidance in relaxing your nerves and calming your emotions.
Men are often slower to commit because they are very careful about getting to know a woman before they commit to her. They date first before becoming a boyfriend, they stay a boyfriend first before getting engaged. This is often hard for women, but there is a lesson to be learned from it. They make sure (as women should) that they feel compatible on all levels. This process must happen at its own pace. Pressuring a man to make a decision before he feels he knows you will inevitably lead him to doubt. Don't talk about marriage until either he brings it up or it's been about a year.
Keep dating fun, as it should be. If dating goes well, and your interactions are positive, he'll want you to be his girlfriend. If he builds experience with you and sees you as a person he wants to be with forever, he will get more serious about his future and work, start considering longer-term goals such as buying a home, and begin to discuss the future more and more. Only once he has made a decision about you and feels prepared and mature enough to propose will he do so.
Show confidence. Be sure of yourself, and ready to tackle whatever is before you. Many men love confident women. How can a man not feel privileged when he earns the esteem of a woman who values herself so highly?
Show endearment with class. A certain look. A scratch on the back. A soft kiss. Nothing "clingy" or inappropriate.
Appreciate a man's strengths. And tell him so, even if he's already prideful. Then support him when he is at his best, and avoid nagging or berating him when he is at his worst.
Be fun. This sounds basic, but it's a critical factor in any relationship. Have a sense of humor. Don’t be uptight or negative.
Overflow with joy. Women who are glad to be alive and are enjoying every minute of it may be irrepressibly attractive to men.
Glow. If the warmth of your heart is written all over your face, and your feelings for your guy show in the sparkle in your eyes, you will melt him. This is what removes all doubt - it's the important "silver bullet".
Practice humility. A humble person is not someone who downplays herself; it is a person who controls her ego and shows a genuine interest in others.
Date. It may not be obvious, but you actually have to go out on dates with a man and commit to a relationship before he will propose. The term "date" in modern culture is vague and sometimes redefined as something more than it is. Simply converse with a man and get to know more about each others' lives.
Don't assume. Some men wait slightly longer than you might want before they ask. If he is really worth marrying, you should be willing to wait (within reason). But if he is uninterested (or worse, making excuses) even after a long period of time, you need to reevaluate the direction of your relationship. Remember, great romances are not built on bargaining and ultimatums - in the best marriages the man is the one initiating conversations about marriage. Sometimes allowing a man to lead the direction of a relationship is in-line with your desires. Try it, you'll like it.
Remember that romance runs both ways. If you want to be respected and treated as an equal, do the same for him. Be romantic. Make him want to be in this relationship. Don't be a cheapskate. Men often enjoy romance too; pretending otherwise will only drive him away.
Remember that some men are perfectly willing to date women they really like but don't see as "marriage material." If, after six months to a year, you still haven't heard him refer to his future plans for marriage or family (with or without you) you may need to ask, "What qualities do you look for in someone you see yourself committing to?" If he mentions qualities he's complimented you on, take it as a good sign. If his compliments are largely related to sex, it probably is not.
If you feel the need to have a serious talk, reconsider the approach. Instead of coming at him with a serious tone (which will bring up his innate fear of pressure for commitment), be upbeat and positive. "I really love spending time with you. I really feel happy around you. But I just want to double check and see if we're on the same page. While I know it is too soon for us to worry about it, I do want to get married in the future and want to make sure I'm dating someone who has the same values as me. As we get to know each other better and better, are you beginning to see me as someone you could possibly see that happening with?"
Convey unconditional love. A strong relationship should be based upon more than convenience. Pushing past difficult times while remaining together requires a deep commitment and appreciation for one another. Unconditional love is developed over time. It is a choice we make, not necessarily a feeling we experience.
Set goals. Marriage itself only works when you're moving forward, so it's good practice to start now. Generally speaking, men like women who know who they are and where they're going, even if some of the goals need to be changed a bit down the road.
"Winning the Man NOT the Arguement". In any relationship, disagreements will occur. However the key to resolving issues is not only to talk these through. You need to be able to discuss all issues effectively. Never bring up previously unresolved issues - they are in the past and that is where they should be left. Never discuss issues with your partner if you haven't resolved this emotionally with your self first. If thinking about an issue makes you feel upset or angry, then do not bring this up with your partner. If you do, there is a chance that the your emotions will get the better of you, you will not be thinking or communicating clearly if this happens. Which can lead to an arguement. Discuss things objectively and think with an open mind. If you want him to understand you, you must be willing to understand and listen to him to.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Understanding Emotions
In life we are taught a great many things, but for some reason we do not learn much about emotions! For most of us our emotions are something of a mystery. We know that we have them but have little idea where they come from or how we can experience them more positively.
A useful model developed, by psychologist Dr C. Spezzano, allows us to become more self-aware and to better understand our emotions. At any point in life, our emotions will be experienced from any of six different perspectives.
Denial > Resistance > Pain > Guilt > Fear > Love
Denial - Many of our fears and insecurities are hidden beneath the surface of our conscious minds and we can therefore be completely unaware of them and how they affect our lives. We are often in denial of these insecurities - an unconscious strategy designed to avoid us having to face the emotional pain that we believe might overwhelm us if we were to unearth our hidden fears. We hide them away for protection and then try to get on with life. Unfortunately, these insecurities have a nasty habit of reappearing in our lives as emotional trauma, relationship difficulties and even health problems.
Resistance - Life will through all sorts of challenges at us and these will raise the emotional temperature. In a struggle to keep our insecurities at bay and avoid feeling our negative emotions we will tend to resist anybody or anything in life that might trigger these unpleasant sensations. This normally involves some form of compensatory behavior or distraction from anything that could trigger our pain. Trying to be very successful in education or work to gain approval, or trying to be a really 'nice' person would be typical examples of compensations, but there are many, many more.
Pain - Sooner or later, usually due to traumatic events in our life, the resistance is broken and we begin to feel emotional pain. Our reaction is to either bury it again through more resistance and denial or hand the pain to somebody else - we tend to blame other people for our negative emotions. This is what happens in bad behavior, arguments and rows as we judge and project our pain outwards into the world.
Guilt - Under our tendency to blame other people for our problems is a usually unconsciously held belief that, in fact, we are to blame. This guilt is based around our low self esteem and unworthiness that we take on at a very early age and comes out of a belief that we have let people down (often our parents) and hurt people in some way. Self-blame and guilt are always mistakes and much of our work focuses on letting go of these damaging emotions. More information on Guilt & Low Self Esteem
Fear - All these negative emotions are actually hiding our deeply buried fears. There will be many different fears that we are unwilling to deal with, but ultimately these will boil down to our fears about being abandoned, rejected and unloved. As we gain confidence and greater emotional awareness we are able to feel, understand and let go of these fears.
Love - As we face and heal our fears, rather than suppressing or denying them, we discover that they hide our natural state - that of love, spirit and pure positive energy. As we strip away the pain, guilt and fear we are left with the beauty of our essence - full of creativity, abundance and joy.
We usually experience these emotional responses sequentially. They appear as layers in our reaction to people and events in our lives. Our negative emotions can be understood as our defense mechanism to avoid feeling pain, guilt and fear, that usually originates in our childhood. If we want to gain more emotional awareness and maturity we need to work down through our emotional layers and heal or our insecurities and fears. By understanding the layered nature of emotions we begin to understand why we have certain thoughts and feelings and also understand the people around us better. Ultimately we can let go of all the negative emotions and bring more love into our lives and improve our relationships and romantic experiences...
A useful model developed, by psychologist Dr C. Spezzano, allows us to become more self-aware and to better understand our emotions. At any point in life, our emotions will be experienced from any of six different perspectives.
Denial > Resistance > Pain > Guilt > Fear > Love
Denial - Many of our fears and insecurities are hidden beneath the surface of our conscious minds and we can therefore be completely unaware of them and how they affect our lives. We are often in denial of these insecurities - an unconscious strategy designed to avoid us having to face the emotional pain that we believe might overwhelm us if we were to unearth our hidden fears. We hide them away for protection and then try to get on with life. Unfortunately, these insecurities have a nasty habit of reappearing in our lives as emotional trauma, relationship difficulties and even health problems.
Resistance - Life will through all sorts of challenges at us and these will raise the emotional temperature. In a struggle to keep our insecurities at bay and avoid feeling our negative emotions we will tend to resist anybody or anything in life that might trigger these unpleasant sensations. This normally involves some form of compensatory behavior or distraction from anything that could trigger our pain. Trying to be very successful in education or work to gain approval, or trying to be a really 'nice' person would be typical examples of compensations, but there are many, many more.
Pain - Sooner or later, usually due to traumatic events in our life, the resistance is broken and we begin to feel emotional pain. Our reaction is to either bury it again through more resistance and denial or hand the pain to somebody else - we tend to blame other people for our negative emotions. This is what happens in bad behavior, arguments and rows as we judge and project our pain outwards into the world.
Guilt - Under our tendency to blame other people for our problems is a usually unconsciously held belief that, in fact, we are to blame. This guilt is based around our low self esteem and unworthiness that we take on at a very early age and comes out of a belief that we have let people down (often our parents) and hurt people in some way. Self-blame and guilt are always mistakes and much of our work focuses on letting go of these damaging emotions. More information on Guilt & Low Self Esteem
Fear - All these negative emotions are actually hiding our deeply buried fears. There will be many different fears that we are unwilling to deal with, but ultimately these will boil down to our fears about being abandoned, rejected and unloved. As we gain confidence and greater emotional awareness we are able to feel, understand and let go of these fears.
Love - As we face and heal our fears, rather than suppressing or denying them, we discover that they hide our natural state - that of love, spirit and pure positive energy. As we strip away the pain, guilt and fear we are left with the beauty of our essence - full of creativity, abundance and joy.
We usually experience these emotional responses sequentially. They appear as layers in our reaction to people and events in our lives. Our negative emotions can be understood as our defense mechanism to avoid feeling pain, guilt and fear, that usually originates in our childhood. If we want to gain more emotional awareness and maturity we need to work down through our emotional layers and heal or our insecurities and fears. By understanding the layered nature of emotions we begin to understand why we have certain thoughts and feelings and also understand the people around us better. Ultimately we can let go of all the negative emotions and bring more love into our lives and improve our relationships and romantic experiences...
Miss You Soo Much
Away with u makes me cry evry day..wishing u r here with me right now..i can now also feel how u makes me happy..those memorable movements r alwys with me..da way we spend together..happy movements..how u makes me smile evry day..how u bring joy to my unuseful life...how u forgive me..hw u hold me thight..telling here i am, evrythin wil be fine..how u trust me..i cant forget those movement..my honeybunch..u r my life..my soul..i am craxy abt u..i thank God that give me sum1 like u who luv more than nything..evry day i want hear i luv u from u...da day u told me dat u want marry me was da happiest day in my life..i was so happy dat u luv u me soo much..my honeybunch i miss u soo much...miss ur kiss..ur hugs...miss u like craxy.....umahhhhhhhhhhh>
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